Mind/body, sexuality, and coaching

Man and woman kissing
Photo by Scott Webb

A couple of weeks ago, I met with Kristine D’Angelo, of DoYourSexLifeAFavor. D’Angelo is a certified sex coach, which means she’s a coach (someone who listens, asks questions, gives homework assignments, reflects, encourages, holds people accountable, etc.) who helps clients with goals regarding their sexual lives – physicality, attitudes, experiences, communication (with self and others), blocks, barriers, history, and future – among other things.

She told me she’d always been interested in the topic, that life circumstances arose that sparked her curiosity and compassion and led to an extensive research project, and that she continued that way for awhile – researching and sharing – until discovering the professional niche and certification. What a wonderful service!

I consider myself lucky and blessed to have been born when I was, in the early ‘60s, a decade that launched a barrage of questions aimed at traditional gender roles. (Anyone who knows me knows I love questions.) I consider myself doubly blessed to have discovered science fiction when I was young. The SF of the sixties and seventies examined social constructs as often as it extrapolated from hard science. I read utopias and dystopias and speculative fiction and adventure, things like _The Void Captain’s Tale_ and _The Man Who Folded Himself_ and _Stranger in a Strange Land_. I grew up thinking that being gay was like being redhead: a normal minority. I had polyamorous friends. I was straight, monogamous, and Christian, but I really, really loved men and sex.

So the new Sex Positivity movement is near and dear to my heart. I think a positive body image is a basic human right. I don’t think we should settle for being comfortable in our own skin – I think we should enjoy and adore and delight in being in our own skin. When I hear women or men of any age – but especially my age – say they’ve outgrown the need for sex, or are too tired, or have better things to do, or think it’s shameful, or shocking, or whatever… well, it’s a big world full of all kinds of people, but those folks are not my tribe. For anyone who has been traveling with that tribe out of inertia or fear, stuck in embarrassment or longing and not sure how to shift out of it, Kristine brings wisdom, skill, curiosity, and a passion for healing.

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